"The Great Exchange: Divorce, Grace, and the Woman at the Well"
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I thank God for second and third chances—and sometimes more—as our choices are used for His purpose. Yes, even the wrong choices. The grace He gives us does not make our mistakes "right"; rather, it acknowledges our liability while offering a path forward. God reminds us in His Word that nothing we do will stop His plans: “I declare the end and the result from the beginning... My purpose will be established, and I will do all that pleases Me” (Isaiah 46:10).
The Vision of Connection
Many people facing divorce admit they did not consult God before choosing a mate. I know this all too well. This admission isn’t saying the person I married was "terrible"; they were simply not created for me.
When Adam saw Eve, he said, “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” He knew her in a way that went beyond physical attraction and toward a spiritual recognition. I believe that when Adam awoke, he awoke with God's vision. When discussing finding a mate, I always tell women: “He should see you.” He should know that you are for him, and you should also know. Initially, we may not readily accept that connection out of fear or past hurts of neglect, but there is something profoundly divine about a God-ordained connection.
The Season of Sacred Contentment
I was made a believer in this divine timing after I gave up trying to play matchmaker for myself. God sent me my "Boaz" when I wasn’t looking. I was in the fields harvesting souls for Jesus Christ, and I was content. I was at peace after divorce and the seasons in between. I had settled into the idea that marriage might not be for me, and I professed that I was "married to the ministry."
I could see the Holy Spirit working in me, correcting my way of seeing Him and honoring my body as His temple. I became territorial in that sacred space; the idea of someone entering that relationship was actually a bit scary. I had trust issues, and all I can say is: “But God!” I chose to be satisfied if a partner never came, living in the mindset of Jesus: “Lord, let thy will be done.”
The Sword of Judgment
Unfortunately, we live in a society where many try to shame those who have been married more than once. As an ordained minister, I stand on the Word of God, but I believe we must accurately handle the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15) lest we fall on our own sword of judgment.
We have all had charges against us; we have all sinned. While it is not God’s will that we marry and divorce, we often find ourselves going against His will and in desperate need of His grace and mercy. For those who use scripture to convict others blindly, I suggest you study the heart of God. Is the pain of a broken marriage any less deserving of grace than any other form of human brokenness? Isn't it better to know that you are no longer living where God has called you out of?
One cannot believe that the struggle of a wrong choice is beyond the forgiveness of God. By no means should we use divorce as an "escape" from a God-joined marriage, but we must also acknowledge that “The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it” (Proverbs 10:22).
The Journey of the Virtuous Woman
I am passionate about fixing as many marriages as possible with the help of God, while also helping those who must move on from a "dry place" where God did not call them to be.
I have been the woman at the well, seeking satisfaction in places that could never quench my thirst. I have yearned to be that virtuous woman described in Proverbs—even while I was still standing at the well, in the midst of it all. Through surrender and grace, I am now her. I am proof that your past does not disqualify you from God’s highest calling for your life.
I leave you with this question: If the rite says, “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together,” who then can put together what God has not?
Consider the work of God: “For who can make that straight, which he hath made crooked?” (Ecclesiastes 7:13)
