"Divorce, Grace, and the Woman at the Well"
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I thank God for second and third chances—and sometimes more—as our choices are used for His divine purpose. Yes, even our wrong choices.
The grace He gives us does not make our mistakes "right"; rather, it acknowledges our liability while offering a holy path forward. God reminds us in His Word that nothing we do will thwart His plans:
“I declare the end and the result from the beginning... My purpose will be established, and I will do all that pleases Me.” — Isaiah 46:10
The Vision of Connection
Many people facing divorce admit they did not consult God before choosing a spouse. I know this truth all too well. Making this admission isn’t saying the person I married was "terrible"—they were simply not created for me.
When Adam first saw Eve, he declared, “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” He recognized her in a way that went far beyond physical attraction; it was a spiritual recognition. When Adam awoke, he awoke with God’s vision.
When discussing finding a mate, I always tell women: “He should see you.” He should recognize that you are for him, and you should know it, too. Initially, we may hesitate to accept that connection out of fear or past hurts of neglect—but there is something profoundly divine about a God-ordained connection.
The Season of Sacred Contentment
I became a true believer in divine timing after I stopped trying to play matchmaker for myself. God sent me my "Boaz" when I wasn’t even looking. I was out in the fields harvesting souls for Jesus Christ, completely content.
I was at peace after divorce and the seasons in between. I had settled into the idea that marriage might no longer be in my story, professing that I was "married to the ministry." I could see the Holy Spirit working in me, correcting my perception of Him, and teaching me to honor my body as His temple.
I became territorial over that sacred space. The idea of letting someone into that relationship was actually a bit scary. I had trust issues, and all I can say is: “But God!” I chose to be satisfied if a partner never came, anchoring my heart in the mindset of Jesus: “Lord, let Thy will be done.”
The Sword of Judgment
Unfairly, we live in a society where many attempt to shame those who have been married more than once. As an ordained minister, I stand firmly on the Word of God, but I believe we must accurately handle the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15) lest we fall upon our own sword of judgment.
We have all had charges against us. We have all sinned. While it is not God’s primary desire for us to experience broken marriages, we frequently find ourselves acting against His ideal will and in desperate need of His grace and mercy.
For those who use scripture to convict others blindly, I suggest you study the heart of God:
Is the pain of a broken marriage any less deserving of grace than any other form of human brokenness?
Isn't it better to know you are no longer living where God has called you out of?
One cannot believe that the struggle of a wrong choice is beyond the forgiveness of God. By no means should we use divorce as an easy "escape" from a God-joined marriage, but we must also acknowledge that:
“The blessing of the Lord makes one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it.” — Proverbs 10:22
The Journey of the Virtuous Woman
I am passionate about restoring and healing as many marriages as possible with God's help—while also offering a lifeline to those who must move on from a "dry place" where God did not call them to stay.
I have been the woman at the well, seeking satisfaction in places that could never quench my thirst. Yet, I yearned to be the virtuous woman described in Proverbs—even while standing at the well in the middle of my mess. Through surrender and grace, I am now her. I am living proof that your past does not disqualify you from God’s highest calling for your life.
I leave you with this question:
If the holy rite says, “Let no man put asunder what God has joined together, ”who then can put together what God has not?
